Baylor regent lobs 'corn shuckers' blast at Nebraska

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You have to love open record laws, which allows for, among other things, emails sent by public officials who they think are private but ultimately end up all over the Internet, readily available for public consumption.

The latest official bitten by this way-awesome law is Buddy “Bud” Jones, a Baylor regent and prominent lobbyist in the state.

The emails, obtained by the Dallas Morning News, center on the rumored interest on the part of the Pac-10 in three other Texas schools — Texas, Texas A&M and Texas Tech.  Jones writes that “we cannot let other schools in Texas… leave the Big XII (Jones cyber-yelling for emphasis ahead) WITHOUT BAYLOR BEING INCLUDED IN THE PACKAGE.”

(Why Jones didn’t end that particular sentence with at least three exclamation points for additional emphasis is beyond me.  ‘Net novice.)

He also hit the caps lock when talking about “TEXAS BASED TEAMS” and “PACKAGE DEAL!” in the same email obtained by the News that basically stated Baylor needs to be included with every other Big 12 school that hails from Texas.

Additionally, he addressed the Nebraska loyalty issue that some say could be key in keeping the Big 12 intact.  And he did it like an adult, refraining from using any words that would denigrate either a member institution or an entire fan base.

“It’s hard enough get the home teams to stick tight. But harder still to influence a bunch of corn shuckers.”

Jones then dropped trou, hopped up on the nearest Xerox machine, made several photocopies of his bare ass and ordered his secretary to send copies to high-ranking state officials and school in Nebraska with the following inscription written in Blue Sharpie on his right cheek: “Love, Your Daddy”*.

With each passing day, and with each revelation, the Big 12 is looking less and less like a power conference and more and more like a bunch of six-year-old girls fighting over a Happy Meal toy.

(* – It’s true because I wrote it and it’s now on the Internet and, like the open record laws, would be way awesome if it went down that way.)