As a father four times over, I’ve learned that sometimes you need to bend a couple of commandments to the point of breaking in order to keep
the spawns of hellfire my kids on the relatively straight and narrow.
Lying? Yep. Graven images in the form of a pineapple who lives under the sea? Certainly. Threats? Big, big part of the arsenal.
The latter is a weapon of mass importance, as evidenced by the couple very publicly getting their parenting groove on in the touching instructional video appearing below. For the first-time parents in the reading audience, please take note of the fact that both parents are working in tandem to gently nudge the unruly demon seed into compliance. As in football, teamwork is paramount.
While the parents do not reveal their rooting interests, they are in a mall in Alabama and threatening to take their kid into an Auburn store as punishment. Is there any doubt that they are Crimson Tide fans?
It should go without saying, but… Greatest. Parenting. Ever.
(Tip O’ the Cap: USA Today)