Clowney tell-all reveals bad, worse aspects of recruiting

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Warning: reading Thayer Evans‘ exclusive Jadeveon Clowney tell-all may significantly raise your blood pressure.

And, no, not because it’s Thayer Evans.

The Clowney circus officially ended yesterday (we hope) when the nation’s No. 1 recruit chose to attend South Carolina over in-state rival Clemson and SEC West foe Alabama. The delayed decision, intended to coincide with Clowney’s birthday, was largely greeted with disgust as fans from all over the country implored the kid to get on with it already.

Evans’ exclusive interview with Clowney and his mother (which can and should be read HERE) shows that the week-long puppet show was merely the climax in a nauseating demonstration of butt kissing the likes of which I’ve never read before.

For one, Clowney reveals he was taken to campus parties at Alabama, Clemson and South Carolina, where as the 17-year-old put it, “Girls be all on you.” Even Florida State recruiting coordinator Dameyune Craig called Clowney on signing day saying, “I don’t know if you’re going to come down here to see us or if you’re coming down for the girls, because we got ’em.”

As comedian Bill Engvall once joked, “The way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach. It’s a little further south.”

The compliments kept coming.

“Ja-DAVE-ian, come on, man, come to South Carolina. We need you. We need you bad,” said Steve Spurrier in a voicemail.

“You see that class we’re picking up?” said Dabo Swinney in another voicemail on signing day. “I hope you’re watching. We’re getting them all. No point in waiting. You might as well come. It’d be the happiest day of my life. I love you, Clowney. Come on.”

The love shown for Clowney and his freakish athletic ability isn’t a new recruiting tactic, nor is it exclusive to him. It does, however, lend itself to further manifesting the cockiness of spoiled athletes who have never heard the word “no” in their lifetime.

Such a false sense of entitlement became very evident when Clowney spewed out some cheap shots about Nick Saban after Saban came for an in-house visit in December.

“I don’t see no big deal like everybody else,” Clowney said about Saban’s visit. “They’d say, ‘He’s the king of all of football.’ The guy ain’t nothing but 5-5. He’s a short guy. Everybody’s going crazy on Nick Saban.

“He talked the whole time he was there. I was dozing off. He can talk. A lot. He talked for a whole straight hour.”

Clowney and his mother then enjoyed a weekend in Tuscaloosa at, among other places, Saban’s lakefront house a month later in January.

But, you can’t solely blame Clowney for his self-righteousness; he’s probably never been taught otherwise. On the contrary, he’s more than likely spent his entire life being assured of his greatness. Affirmation like that is only heightened during the recruiting process.

It conjures up images of greasy used car salesmen who will say anything to close the deal, when in reality it’s buyer beware.

“I want to make people wait,” Clowney said of his delayed announcement. “The longer I make them wait, I see who really wants me to come there.”

Clowney shouldn’t hold his breath. If he doesn’t develop as planned, those coaches won’t wait for him much longer.