When a fan’s team is struggling, the old chestnut goes, it’s enough to drive a man to drinking.
In the case of a Michigan fan, that’s precisely what transpired a couple of weekends ago. At least, that’s what he claimed during a non-sober moment (allegedly).
According to the Dearborn Press & Guide, a 25-year-old man was arrested on a drunk-driving charge very early in the morning of Nov. 3. The man was found asleep/passed out in his vehicle by police officers and was ultimately determined to have a BAC of .24, which the paper notes is “above the state’s .17 super-drunk standard”
The man, who acknowledged to police that he was drunk and had urinated on himself — another super-drunk standard, I believe — was very candid with police as to what led to his binge:
While he was being booked, he said he drank so much because he was upset that the University of Michigan’s football team lost 29-6 at Michigan State University the day before. He said he also was upset with the play-calling of Offensive Coordinator Al Borges, whose Wolverines rushed for a negative-48 yards, the worst ground performance since the school started playing football in 1879.
In fairness to the unidentified man, he’s likely not the only Wolverine fan who’s turned to barley and hops and distilled spirits to assuage their anguish over their team’s performance of late.
UM stands at 6-3 in a season that began with high expectations, and could be below .500 were it not for a pair of narrow September escapes against Akron and UConn. The Wolverines have plummeted to 97th in rushing yards per game and are 83rd in total offense. The past two weeks, both losses, they’ve managed just 19 points as they’ve played their way out of contention for a division title and shot at a Big Ten title game berth.
Hell, after reading that, I need a beer or two and I’m not even a UM fan…
CORAL GABLES, Fla. — Miami fired offensive coordinator Josh Gattis on Friday, ending the former Broyles Award winner’s time with the Hurricanes after only one season.
The school announced the move in a one-sentence press release, with no other detail: “Josh Gattis has been relieved of his duties as offensive coordinator, Miami head football coach Mario Cristobal announced Friday,” read the release, sent from a university spokesman.
The Hurricanes went 5-7 in Gattis’ lone season. He was brought in by Miami only a few weeks after winning the 2021 Broyles Award – given to the nation’s top assistant coach – while serving as Michigan’s offensive coordinator and helping the Wolverines reach the College Football Playoff.
But Miami’s offense, for a number of reasons, failed to meet expectations in 2022. Part of that was injuries; starting quarterback Tyler Van Dyke battled a shoulder injury, and the Hurricanes turned to Jake Garcia – who has since transferred – and Jacurri Brown for much of the season.
Miami scored 100 points in its first two games last fall, overpowering Bethune-Cookman and Southern Miss. The Hurricanes averaged only 18.3 points the rest of the way, and finished the year 5-0 in games where the defense allowed no more than 14 points – but 0-7 when opponents scored more than 14.
Miami was 86th nationally in total offense last season, averaging 367.1 yards per game, and 97th in scoring offense.
Gattis played at Wake Forest and worked at North Carolina, Western Michigan, Vanderbilt, Penn State, Alabama and Michigan before coming to Miami.
BATON ROUGE, La. – LSU accidentally overpaid Tigers football coach Brian Kelly by $1 million during the first year of a 10-year, $100 million contract, but discovered the error and has moved to correct it, the Louisiana Legislative Auditor’s office said Wednesday.
Kelly was overpaid $1,001,368 in supplemental payments in 2022 because duplicate payments made both to Kelly’s LLC and to the coach directly.
The double payments began in May and continued until LSU officials detected the errors in November.
“LSU management and the head football coach have enacted an adjusted payment schedule so the amount of overpayment will be recouped by the conclusion of fiscal year 2023,” the Legislative Auditor’s report stated.
Kelly, who previously coached at Notre Dame for 12 seasons, was hired by LSU after the 2021 season, when the Tigers went 6-7 for its first losing season since 1999.
LSU exceeded expectations in Kelly’s first season in Baton Rouge, winning the SEC West Division and finishing 10-4 after a 63-7 victory over Purdue in the Citrus Bowl.